What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

What is your favorite cuckold experience?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

What is your review of working in EY?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why do you suck men's dicks?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

In your opinion, who is the most overrated singer/band/artist in modern music history and why?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Why are men so attracted to big breasts?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

TEXT:

Does the Lil Wayne song ‘Lollipop’ refers to a Lollipop sweet or a metaphor?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Did you become a cuckold for your wife?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Why do so many men wait until they are retired or close to it to start having sex with Men? Most of them say they have always wanted to suck dick or be fucked. Why did you wait?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

What do you think of a parent telling their adult child to “keep their personal life to themselves” in relation to talking to them? No reason they should say that it was mean what should I do?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Why do flat-Earthers think the Earth is flat?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”